The one my heart loves

Though it is definitely possible to go through your journey in life without a spouse, I don't know where I would be right now if God hadn't brought Beav into my life about four years ago. 

There have been many moments of sorrow, fear, loneliness, and anger since we have been married, none of which came from Beav. In the midst of the excitement of being married to my best friend, I was going through a deep, intense sadness. I moved to New Orleans in 2010 right after I graduated college. It was a very difficult transition for me. I was missing my best friends. I was missing being able to drive and see my family without it having to take forever. I missed my church. I missed my college ministry. I missed living by the lakes around the LSU campus. I missed predictability... The Lord truly had to lift me off of the ground many times because the transition hit me so hard. Beav stood by me. He was there when tears couldn't be stopped. He was there when my anger kept me from being joyful in an engagement and a new marriage. He was there when my loneliness closed in and sucked the life out of me. He encouraged me to go to church and get involved to make new friends. He was a rock for me. He never let me suffer through it alone. 

A whole new loneliness set in when I realized what the life of a high school coach entailed. I did not have any good friends in New Orleans yet, and I had trouble staying at home on the weekends as he was always gone. I had trouble with the weekends he would be at a tournament, or a football game far away. I have never watched so many movies in my life. Beav saw how this was becoming very difficult for me, and He did everything he could to make sure He was loving me well when he WAS there. He loved me with quality, not quantity. He was a rock. 

Throughout our marriage, he makes the bed for me when I can't because he knows how much I need to come home to a clean house, Ha! He helps me cook and do the dishes! He does his own laundry, and takes care of our yard. He serves me when I am sick, physically and emotionally. He hangs out with me and takes me on trips. He is a rock. 

There have been many moments of sorrow in our marriage and engagement. My grandfather died. His grandmother died suddenly. Most recently, we lost our first baby before we even got to see him or her born. The miscarriage has been the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. Some do not realize what the woman goes through emotionally, physically, and spiritually when this happens. Many do not think it is that big of a deal. Beav allowed to me to be completely broken with him. I was not able to do this comfortably with anyone else but him. He held me as I cried myself to sleep every night. He held my hand and tried to calm my panic as I was headed back for surgery to remove the baby. He prayed over me. He cooked for me because I had nothing to give. He served me and loved me so well, even though he was getting little in return. I still feel at times I have nothing to give, and He is still there. He is a rock. 

He is not perfect, and neither am I, but I don't know where I would be if God hadn't brought him into my life to be a steady rock I can lean on. I am so thankful everyday for this man of God. This guy is the picture of servant leadership in our home. He is slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen. He is a man after God's own heart, and if you know Him AT ALL, you know this is true. He is a diligent worker who is committed to providing for our family. He has such a heart to see young people come to know Jesus. He is determined. He is understanding and wise. He doesn't watch me in my pain on the sidelines. He jumps right in there with me and holds my head up out of the mire. He makes me laugh more than anyone I know. He is God's perfect provision for me in my life. He brings the joy of the Lord into our home when I have none. He is a rock God has given me. Though God is the ultimate ROCK, the ultimate one we can depend on, Beav is an excellent imitation of Christ. He lives His life to imitate Christ, and that is evident in our home. I am beyond thankful for this man I DON'T deserve. He is a piece of God's grace to me in my life. God knew I could not walk through this season of my life alone, and He gave me a best friend to hold me up through it. 

I look up to you, Beav. I look up to you for your boldness in your faith, for your servant's heart, for your faithfulness and loyalty, ....for everything you are. I appreciate that you don't pretend to know it all or be perfect in any way. I appreciate that you are real.  I am looking forward to more big things God has in store for us in the future, and I cherish every day I get to walk in this journey with you. I love you so much. Happy anniversary, lovey.